Milestones

I have been thinking a lot lately about the milestones in our lives that we put our hope in. What we're going to do with our lives, where we're going to do it, who we're going to do it with. So often we, at least i do, put hope in these things and promise to make more time for the Lord once these things are settled.

When i finally start my job, my routine will be more normal. I'll make time for the Lord then.
Once I move, I'll finally be settled and will find a church that actually feeds me and gives me fellowship.
When I meet the right person, I'll know what your love is really supposed to look like and will be able to show it to others.

Why don't our hearts think, "my hope is in you. if that means i sit in a box doing nothing in the middle of nowhere with no one and all i have is you, that's enough. sitting in a box alone, praising and worshipping you is enough."

why do we count on plans and hopes instead of living in what he has granted us today in the here and now? i long for the day when i will stop planning for the next stop to arrive. when i will stop searching my bags for a map and instead press my face eagerly against the window awaiting the scenery he has planted for me to enjoy while i ride.

where is home?

It's funny how whenever I talk about Cincinnati, I still call it home. Yet, every time I talk about Lexington, I also call this home. There are so many aspects of home in both places that more and more I feel torn between the two. I've started thinking lately about what life will look like after September, when I'm okay to leave from my housekeeping job. What are my options, where will those lead me?..These questions have been on my mind continuously.

Lexington has more advantages that I can think to list, but especially recently. Since returning from Thailand, I've gotten to spend a lot more time with Kari. (She returned..not me) We have started going to a new church that we both love and we also started going to a new biblestudy in roanoke. Needless to say, we're having fun. Those two things plus the fact that I get to do them with Kari, and what they have helped build in our friendship, are reason enough to stay. Then I could list off the other kids, house dinner, joel's birthday (I mean, how could I leave Sherri?) This has very much become home, and yet it'll always be this place that takes me away from home.

Home has always been Cincinnati. I am not sure I could love a city any more than I do this one. Aside from all of that, my family is there; and as you all know, I am absurdly close with my family. Not only family, but I have some amazing friends there as well, the community just looks different. I wouldn't have spaghetti night on mondays, house dinner with 8 of my friends every tuesday, book study with Lucy on wednesdays...enough said. my life would look very different. fellowship would probably be a bit harder to find. But would having to work for fellowship really be that bad of a thing? wouldn't it be good to practice this before life really hands me a busy schedule?

Home is never far away, I guess, is the moral of the story. I am lucky enough to have two homes. The only time I'm far away is when I'm half way in between (oh charleston, wv), torn between the two places my heart has found rest.