I've been reading a book the past few weeks called Angry Conversations With God It's pretty stellar. I think I enjoy it most because me and Susan, the author, while very different, have very similar thoughts about God. Not only that, but she's friggin' hilarious. And amid the humor, there is truth. The premise of the book, although a bit far-fetched, is that she takes God to couples counseling. She finds a Christian counselor that invites her to engage in "conversations" with God about her issues with him and where she finds him "at fault" in the relationship. That being said, I will share some of the parts I love most. (if you read nothing else, read the last one)
God: You apologized years ago and I forgave you. This is the same thing you did when you were eighteen: "I know you're angry and you hate me: I'll do everything right so you'll love me." I didn't hate you. And I never loved you because you were good. I loved you because you were mine.
God:I don't have a problem with sex. I invented it, didn't I? I did not design the body to be celibate at forty. I also didn't design you to be stuck in emotional adolescence into retirement.
Susan: And therein lies the conflict.
God: It's your messed-up culture that has set up the conflict, not me. Please, go, have sex! Live out the Song of Solomon. Only do it married, with a Christian man who's going to understand your whole heart.
Susan: Those men weren't available. They all read Kiss My Dating Ass Goodbye.
Susan: I wanted to be loved.
God: So do I, Susan. I have loved you your whole life. I've never left you. Even when you wanted me to. I brought you out of despair. I dumped so many blessings into your life. You had nearly everything. Except one thing: a man. Don't you think I knew that? Did you have no patience?
Susan: No patience?! I was nearly forty years old.
God: Well, as you said: you live in a fallen world and it sucks.
Susan: You created this world.
God: But I didn't make it fall, Susan. I didn't make it suck.
God:...What are your complaints against me? That I didn't give you the career you wanted? That you didn't get the husband you wanted? I'm not a life insurance policy: I am your Maker. I want to be the Lover of your soul. You married me for my money! I know the church is mess up. Do you know why? Because they're like you: you're here to improve your own life. And then when you don't get what you want, you complain.... I gave you my life, Susan. But you wanted a career and a boyfriend....If you decide you want to know the real me - not a drill-sergeant Father or a wimpy Jesus you can minipulate or blame. If you want to love the real me, for better or worse, richer or poorer, lonely or in love - which is how I've loved you, Susan - then I'll be back. But not until then. And don't ask me to come back until you mean it. Because I'll know.
