Goodbye Bakery, Hello Toilets

I have one day left in the kitchen, and almost like leaving oxford, it has made me a bit reflective. Not only have I spent the past four months in the bakery, but last summer and one month each of the two summers before that. I cannot begin to express all of the characteristics of Christ I have grown to see and appreciate through that little nook in the kitchen. Humility, grace, patience, perseverance..the list could go on and on. Whether I have been successful at adapting these qualities into character traits of my own, well that's another matter, but I have seen them and have grown a desire to see them be evident in my life and in my interactions with others.

The bakery has been a place of amazing growth; which, unfortunately, required not only good times full of laughter, but lots of tears and frustration. Through it all though, I have grown to know, and hopefully better understand, the faithfulness of Christ. It will never cease to amaze me how well He knows my heart. It makes sense that He would know everything, but to watch as He gives me what I need when I need it (even if I don't want it) has been an illustration of His love for me. Whether that translates to giving me plenty of opportunity to grow in confrontation, giving grace and truth; or sometimes it means giving me wonderful workers who make me laugh until I cry. He knows, every second of every day, exactly what I need. And He sits and waits, patiently, for me to realize His presence.

This summer, more than most, I have had to grow up. Not just what has happened in the kitchen, but it's that time in my life. I had to apply for my first real full-time job. I had to figure out housing. I had to come to grips with the fact that this new job and new housing meant I was "giving up" my family. That has forced me to grow up the most. Sure, if you know my family at all, you know they will never really be all that far away. (Especially Jeni) But it is a very lonely feeling, starting a life in a city far away from the people that have always been there when I failed. For the first time, my mom can't rescue me whenever I need her and that is terrifying and thrilling all in the same thought. I am excited about becoming the woman Christ intended me to be. I am excited for having a house and paying bills and working a steady job. I am excited to see how long the Lord will have me be here in Virginia and if He'll give me any company (wink). I am terrified, however, in the same breath, that all of that is so far away from the people I love the most.