One week in

I'm here. The move is over. The dust has settled, and my feet are firmly planted. Planted on what, though, is in the air.

Don't get me wrong, I've got my foundation on Christ. I mean, with this big move, this life change (yes, even though it's coming back to Cincinnati, it's still a huge life change), I'm floundering for what it is exactly I'm standing on. I continue to be oddly picky and prideful with job choices despite the lack thereof. I still find myself putting all my hope in the mere mention of a job possibility. The second I hear their could be an opening with something I would like to do, I imagine my life. I think about the commute to work, my co-workers, what my day would look like. And then I get the call, the email; whatever means of communication, it's all the same..We're going in a different direction.

I'm here. And yet nothing is really settled.

I found myself reading through the old blogs, laughing to myself that I couldn't seem to keep this going. As I read the words I had written just months ago, I wondered where that girl went. Somehow, in the uncertainty that summer and the move brought, I lost that girl. She was confident. In her abilities which would land her a job that would be glorifying to the Lord. In the Lord, that He would provide that opportunity in His perfect timing. I've been too prideful in my searchings. The confidence I had in those posts didn't disappear when a job opportunity went south. Instead, it bucked up. It clung to the promises of the Lord. So I will write the words again that so convicted me tonight:

i long for the day when i will stop planning for the next stop to arrive. when i will stop searching my bags for a map and instead press my face eagerly against the window awaiting the scenery he has planted for me to enjoy while i ride.