Grace

We are a broken, fallen people. I can lump us together because I know that's just the state of the world. I can verify that quite readily about myself. This week was rough. Not quite sure why; I could list things but they would just feel like excuses. I was grumpy and tired and insecure. Lets just wrap it up as a tough few days. But luckily, The Lord is still molding me to look like his son, so this week he  pushed discipline. As in, disciplines I could learn to be focused on him.

There were great moments of success. When I'd close the door to the laundry room and listen to BT talk about the great results from beans and rice week. In that moment, I could still the anxious thoughts. I didn't hear the planner inside my head ticking. It was just the word of The Lord being preached and his mission being applauded. When I was counting (every single knife) for inventory, and my mind started to wonder and distract me, I'd listen to last Wednesday or worship music and I could just sit at his feet.

Now, in this same week, there was failure. Times when I was so wrapped up in frustration or anxiety that Christ was far from my thoughts. Instead I would fold towels or count spoons while fuming over some huge issue (which was really nothing). My god, however, is full of grace. And one of the things I love most is how quiet and gentle his grace is with me. Ill be in the midst of too many thoughts and its as if he just whispers, "it's my turn now. Let that all go". And he quietly holds out his hands; patiently waiting for me to let go and hand it all over. Because whether I am a success or a failure at the discipline of keeping my focus on him, he is gracious. Because that's what grace does. No matter how often or how deeply I fail. It's the unfair nature of grace that continues to astound and humble me. He should've stopped giving me grace a long time ago. I've been rebellious for far too long. And yet each time, as my heart wars over trivial matters, he waits. Patiently. Hoping I'll accept the grace he so longs to give me.

What an amazing God we serve.