Home across the pond

I still have a week left, and this whirlwind vacation has been exhausting. Don't get me wrong, I love it. I very well would move here if given a job, but nonetheless I am exhausted and ready for sleep. And amidst the chaos and crowds, I find myself, tonight, at home. Funny that a tiny store that I generally only visit in four hour increments, unless late into the morning, would seem like home, even across the ocean. But I find myself, in the stress and joy of family tonight, in an Apple store. Because it's the one thing here that is a piece of home. I can come here and I know what I need to know. Heck, I find myself checking their cable management and staffing. (It's okay to laugh at this. I know it is slightly creepy). But, with a sigh, I must go back to my night out on the London streets. Dont' feel bad for me, if anything you should be jealous because this place is by far one of my favorites. (fun fact: the computer wants to correct my spelling to be british. I am remaining firmly american) Enjoy your nights, or days for you kids across the pond, and perhaps I shall see you in the coming weeks ahead.

What Now?

The waiting is over, and I still find myself with a lack of patience. I didn't get the job. I kind of want to end it there because I don't know what to say. No one does. Unfortunately, that doesn't always stop people from pretending they do, so I have had a variety of conversations which I had to stop and walk away from or hang up the phone. There is no easy answer here.

I came home from a place that I loved because I was excited to teach. I was actually excited to spend my days with high school kids. I absolutely adore them. They are so honest and vulnerable when you least expect it and they just want to experience life. I came back and was given the opportunity to pursue these kids at Finneytown. It may look different from when I was there, but those same kids are there. I sometimes sit while subbing and try and figure out who I would've hung out with. Who in the class will eventually be me?

I was astatic when I heard there would be an opening, admittedly I was disappointed it was middle school, but by the time I interviewed, I was excited about it. I had a good interview, I didn't get a rejection letter right away. And typical Mandy fashion, I started planning. I planned how my August would look, how I would decorate my classroom, when we would have to do family vacations since my spring break wouldn't line up with Mike's, what I would do in my summer off.

Now, I'm just trying to figure out where to go from here. I don't have experience and apparently that's important. Funny, because I even addressed that in my cover letter. I was very proud of that little snippet. And yet, there are no opportunities for experience. So what do I do? Wait and hope that subbing is enough experience? Because if that was really the case, I would have a job now. I am supposedly a very popular sub with good ratings. But instead, I need real experience, which is completely valid. If only there was a way for teachers to get experience so they can get hired to teach. (I apologize for the cynicism only a little. I think I'm allowed to be a little bitter, especially since this is my blog). All that being said, I'm left in a bit of a conundrum. I now either need a job or I have to go back to school to keep my license. But if I can't get a job without experience what help will keeping my license be.

More than anything, I just feel lost. I felt like this whole year had a purpose behind it. I was enduring it to get to the happy part; where my subbing and getting my foot in the door paid off with my own classroom. It's all I want. And it's the one thing that apparently I'm not going to get.

sigh...

and so begins the 11 days of not much at all. I will hopefully have great news at the end, with me developing an immense love for running. (especially since my idea to pool it up at the city pool daily died since the pool doesn't open until the 8th) Let me know if you're bored in june...chances are I am too.