Lost Entries

I had some entries that I prepared while away, across the pond, which never made it onto here in the bustle of Virginia, Ohio, Virginia, Ohio. So as not to deprive you of the joy of reading my innermost thoughts, I will post them both now.

We saw Romeo and Juliet tonight, exactly how it should have looked. Under the London sky, pigeons abounding, minus makeup and microphones, the bard's most loved play tugged at my heart. Because what mere preteens found so easily, I cannot seem to make my way towards; direction.

I feel so unsure about what I'm supposed to do. So unsure and confused. I keep finding myself in situations that I get really excited about and nothing comes of it. I got excited about teaching middle school (I know, right?!) and it didn't happen. I randomly got swept up in the idea of field staff internationally and that's a far distant dream, if I even pursued it.

Sitting in the theater tonight, I am reminded of the joy I had whenever on the stage. The wonder of being so swept up in a character, you become them. Their hurts, betrayals, tears; they're yours too. You weep not as an actress but because your heart is truly broken.

I sat in the theater tonight and had to lag behind so no one would see my tears. These, despite being in a theater, were mine; are mine. Tears of a child who is lost and can't seem to find her way. If only I had gotten myself lost at Disney. Those people at City Hall are so good at finding things.